Relationship Problems Advice

If your husband has cheated, you have been living with infidelity in a marriage, betrayal, deceit and lies. He has violated your trust and it feels near impossible to find a way to trust him again. As more time passes and you find that the trust is not being re-established, you're afraid the lack of trust will end your marriage.

And you are right. Infidelity in a marriage will always leave you wondering where and what your husband is doing. This in itself is good cause for a relationship to end. It's essentially impossible to have a trusting, intimate marriage when your man is sneaking behind your back and lying to you. If he doesn't stop, your marriage is in danger of divorce.

Feeling betrayed is only one result of infidelity in a marriage and being deceived. Deliberate lying is violating spousal communication and as a result, you will shut down to protect yourself from more hurt and future lies.

This is a very normal response seeing as we gravitate to what makes us feel good and retreat from anything that feels bad. Your relationship with your husband will thrive when the lines of communication are honest and open. Allowing information to flow freely between the two of you creates a bond of intimacy. You're probably aware of this, but you are probably not sure how to stop the deceit and start communicating again.

The solution is total transparency on every topic.

Transparency is more than just honesty. To be transparent within your marriage is to be free of excuses and deceit and ensure your words and actions are all honest and true so your partner can verify and see right through them to establish the truth is being told 100% of the time.

If you have shut down and built up your walls to avoid any future hurt, although the affair and turmoil in your marriage is certainly not your fault, your marriage could benefit from you becoming more honest and transparent with your husband. Many times when infidelity in a marriage occurs, closing down and no longer sharing true feelings and thoughts with your spouse will cause more damage than good to the relationship.

It only takes one person to destroy a marriage, but to save it, you need both couples working together.

Sometimes having a transparent marriage will cause a misunderstanding in the short-term, but in the big picture, it's certainly better to be disagreeing about true facts going on in each others lives rather than lies and deceit.

What you want to accomplish in a transparent marriage is free exchange of information regarding your feelings and your daily actions. Both of you will benefit to share your daily activities, and what your plans are for the future. Try offering the information before it is asked and don't hesitate to give a full account when sharing your feelings or discussing your plans. Asking permission is not necessary between adults, and certainly doesn't lead to a healthy marriage but, telling all the details and answering any follow-up questions in a respectful manner goes a long way in rebuilding a relationship.

I wish you all the best on your road to happiness and a wonderful loving marriage.

Read more here: Infidelity In A Marriage - How To Stop The Lies And Start Communicating Again
marriage problems advice